Whenever I tell my boyfriend that someone took me out or bought me a gift, he gets upset. He tells me, “I am your boyfriend. I should be the one taking you to fancy places and buying you expensive gifts. But because I cannot afford to, my hands are tied. And these people who can afford these things probably don’t have good intentions.” He would talk about how men would act nice and give gifts just to get into a woman’s pants.
Even if it is a female friend who showed me kindness, he would say they have ulterior motives. All I want is for him to be happy for me. That despite the fact that he cannot be financially present for me, there are people who can. I am not demanding anything from him. Ever since we started dating, I have never asked for a penny from him.
I understand that he is the first child of his mother. And there are six of them. His mum is also a single mother so there is a lot of pressure for him to support his family. But would it kill him to buy me a simple gift? I am not asking for anything grand. Just something small to show me that he truly cares about me.
At first, he used to say, “You know I am a student. I don’t earn money so I don’t have anything to give you.” That was when he was still in school. Now it is no longer the case. He is currently doing his national service, so he earns money now. It may not be much but what will go terribly wrong with the world if my boyfriend receives his allowance at the end of the month and sends me airtime?
Dear readers, we have dated for two whole years. This guy has never even bought me toffee. Even when it is my birthday, he won’t do anything to celebrate me. Meanwhile, people who have no romantic interest in me have gone above and beyond to appreciate me in ways he never did.
He wants me to believe he doesn’t do any of these things because he is broke. But I know it is because he is stingy. I am saying this because it doesn’t cost much to buy a present for someone you love. He lives in Kumasi while I live in Koforidua. He complains about money every day but he wants to come and see me.
Yes, I was just as surprised as you. This guy is willing to pay money to transport himself from Kumasi to Koforidua and back, but he claims he is too broke to send me GHC1 worth of airtime. Compare the cost of the bus fare to the cost of airtime. Which in your comparison is cheaper?
He must be thinking that I will have intimacy with him when he makes the trip. That’s the only reason for his behavior. I am saying this because, every time we talk on the phone he tries to initiate sex. He would say things like, “If I was there with you, what would you do to me?” Or “If I touch your breasts, what sound would you make? I want to hear you moan.” I tell him I am not interested but he doesn’t want to accept it.
He is always on my neck asking me to engage in this phone sex thing with him. I am a Christian. So I am doing my best to live a life pleasing to God. I don’t want to fornicate. So even if he comes to visit me with the intention to have shuperu with me, I will not allow it to happen. He knows this so he keeps telling me, “Let’s do it on the phone then. That one is not the real one so it doesn’t count as a sin.”
Who Would You Choose, A Rich Man Or A Man Who’s Good In Bed?
Apart from the fact that he is stingy, and the way he gets jealous when other people do things for me, his pressure for sex is also bothering me. The only reason I am still with him is because of how deeply I love him. I have addressed all my concerns in hopes that he would change but no. He is still the same person.
Apart from talking to him to change, is there anything else I can do to get through to him? Also, I need to know if it is a sin to engage in phone sex with my boyfriend. If it helps, I am twenty-one and he is twenty-six.
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